I'm only going to say this once. If I were ever dating a girl, and I took that girl out on a romantic lake, and our boat started to leak, and the girl I was dating decided to stuff a tampon in the hole to stop the leak, I'm going to hit her with my oar and then break up with that girl. How gross. I don't give a shit that it stopped the leak. I would rather drown. Thanks. I could have just fuckin paddled to shore. No biggie. Keep that shit in your purse.
When I get rich I'm going to hire a music man. Basically he's going to follow me around with a stereo and play badass songs at opportune times. For example, when I'm playing basketball and make a siiick trey, he'll play Tag Team - Whoop There It It. When I'm having a romantic moment with my ladyfriend, he'll play Donna Lewis - I Love You Always Forever. When things really heat up with my ladyfriend, he'll play Whoop There It Is again. Heyyyyy-oooooooo
If you're wondering what its like to be the funniest human on the planet, just ask me. For the most part its great.