Today Phil and I went to a garage sale at the Parmer Events Center. We saw a commercial on the World Poker Tour telling about a weekend long garage sale. The old dude on the commercial was telling us that we should go so we can get badass stuff. We believed him because at the end of the commercial he drove off with a truckload of badass things. He had a sick basketball hoop, some expensive lamps, and a shiny bike. Phil and decided we have GOT to check it out. I even withdrew $40 from the ATM because I figured I'd be buying badass electronics and stunning artwork.
Phil and I flew to the Events Center because we didn't want anyone stealing our badass bargains. We finally arrived and began searching for bargains. What we found was an events center full of worthless shit. There was not one bargain to be had. There were broken coffee makers and shitty coaches everywhere. There was a rug that looked like an ovary. There were flat basketballs and golf clubs that you couldn't play golf with. It was terrible. As Mike would say to Vince, "What an incredible flop!!"
Phil and I figure that guy in the commercial took all the badass stuff. What a shithead.