The hottest thing in the entire world is when one girl's boobs touch another girls boobs. This usually happens when girls hug, or dance like skanks.

I haven't had a bowl of Honey Nut Cherrios in a few years. That will change soon.

Freaking Rap is still freaking awesome. Mannie Fresh - Real Big gets me pretty jacked up. So does Lil Wayne - Go DJ.

I saw First Daughter, starring Katie Holmes. The movie had a tired plot and was produced poorly. But man is Katie still hot. There was a good 4 minutes of her in a bikini. It really motivated me to get famous in the next 8 months. "Oh hey...my name's Mike. I'm talented and I've been to Ohio like 12 times. You wanna hold hands?"

Amy B's birthday dinner was on Monday night. It was me and 12 broads. It was pretty fun. They talked about how they couldn't hold off having sex a month before their wedding night. I made a unique art piece using spoons and forks.

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My mom's going to come up and make my apartment look nice. I am going to get new lamps, towel racks, art work, tables, etc. You'll probably want to come hang out more often when she's done. She's Extreme Home Makeover talented.

For Halloween I'm going to give away my resume's to little children. Hopefully Spiderman's rich dad will get me a sick job sitting in his office and thinking about life.

Work starts monday. That's cool. I'll probably be promoted to CEO in like 18 days.

Clean your fish tanks, senors y senoritas